Do you feel stuck in your own head, or is your mindset holding you back?

It’s normal and okay to get stuck. We can’t avoid challenges, pressures, and distractions in sports or life.

But we can learn how to use these events as growing opportunities. Specifically, this post will show you the 3 phases to transform your mindset.

I’ve been using this concept with many of my one-on-one clients because of the simplicity, clarity, and power it gives them.

The 3 Phases

First – in phase one, things are great.

Then, phase two – things get tough. Adversity, pressure, and expectations build.

Phase three is the product of growth from phase two.

The key is understanding that phase three is actually better than phase one.

2) The Practical Lessons

Lesson 1 – Don’t Resist Phase 2

When people are in phase two, they wish they could go back to phase one. This is a huge mistake.

It’s not about trying to go backward but trying to move forward. Once you get into phase two, you can’t undo it. You can’t pretend like it didn’t happen and go back to phase one.

We can’t change what’s happened.

Stop resisting phase 2 – you need to go through it to get to phase 3.

When you embrace your journey, you are better able to accept, understand, and move forward into phase 3.

Essentially, this is all about breaking free of the weight of results. Letting go of the need to, have to, and shoulds. It’s where you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. You make the switch from an outside-in approach to life — letting the external world dictate your internal mindset — and move to an inside-out approach where you take control of your inner world first, then once grounded and centered you go and tackle the outer world.

I also refer to this as being Mindset First — it’s the whole premise of my book.

Lesson 2 – Don’t Identify with Phase 2

People fall into the common trap of identifying with a phase 2 mindset.

They may say something like, “I’m always too hard on myself. This is who I am”.

If you choose to identify with phase two, you aren’t going to phase three. There is no solution because your identity is stuck in phase two.

To avoid falling into this trap, I like to help clients reflect on their assumed identities.

For example, “are you really always too hard on yourself? 100% of the time? And who says that you are?”

Then to really hit the point home — “as long as you keep holding on to that belief, there is no moving to phase 3, so the choice is yours if you are going to keep CHOOSING that identity.”

Instead, I encourage them to use the language: “In the past, I was often too hard on myself. I have had a tendency to do so…” This change in narrative ensures they stop identifying with it and gives them the ability to more freely step into a phase 3 mindset.

Lesson 3 – Create Phase 3

The first two lessons help you let go of phase 2, but to seal the deal you want to create a clear phase 3 mindset. This is about being intentional about who you choose to be and how you want to show up.

Then make a stark contrast between phase 2 and 3. By clarifying what each phase looks like for you, the choice to show up in a phase 3 mindset becomes increasingly obvious.

Todd Herman’s alter ego strategy is a great tool to bring the contrasting identities to life.

Separate Mindset from Results

Just because you have a “phase three mindset”, does that mean you’ll get “phase three results”?

The answer is simply no.

Sometimes, you get “phase two results.” That’s part of life and part of sport.

If you’re chasing a phase three mindset for phase three results, that means you don’t have a phase 3 mindset.

The phase 3 results will come, but you need to ruthlessly follow the practical lessons above and lock in your phase 3 mindset first.

And once the results do come, expect new adversities to arise. As they do, stick to the process, stay in a phase 3 mindset, and make adjustments along the way.

I hope you have found this helpful. I love using this framework with clients. It helps break down what we are working on and how we are working on it. It’s both simple and powerful.

And once they get it and start applying the lessons — they get results.

Make sure to watch the full video for more details and diagrams.

Please share this with anyone you think would be interested.