What if worry, frustration, or feeling down are not the problem? Instead, they are symptoms based on your approach to sport and even life.
In our society, the way we talk about emotions is backward. We label ourselves and others as anxious, sad, or frustrated.
That is not who we are—it is what we are feeling, and the distinction matters. When you identify with an emotion, you’ve got a self-perpetuating problem.
More importantly, it’s not true. Emotions are a feedback tool, specifically about your approach to sport and life.
If this resonates with you check out my breakdown of the 2 approaches to sport and life. Please note that this is not a catch all framework as there are surely exceptions and other factors to consider. But I encourage you to try it out and see if it works for you.
The Outside-In Approach
Most people easily get caught up in the “outside-in” approach.
This approach means we’re allowing the outside world to affect how we feel on the inside, often identified by highs and lows in emotional states.
Specifically, they’ll have charged emotions, such as worry or anxiety, and then go straight to careless and reckless.
Or they may go from deflated and frustrated to elated and thinking they’re untouchable.
In the “outside-in” approach, we oscillate back and forth because we’re focused on the outside world first. The thought process around this approach looks like:
What’s going on around us?
What are the results?
What do people think?
What’s the situation like?
And how does that make me feel on the inside?
The answers to those questions then dictate how you feel on the side. In other words, your mental state becomes dependent on the external world.
This approach is fuelled by needing to achieve external results.
Of course, the external goal or intent is to achieve the desired results, but it is a fantasy to think sport or life can be all sunshine and rainbows where everything’s positive all the time.
This approach does not create reliable results and it generally makes sports and life way more stressful.
The good news is we can flip our approach.
The Inside-Out Approach
I want you to strive towards an “inside-out” approach.
This approach is about prioritizing who we want to be on the inside first – then we go and tackle the outside world.
Someone with this approach focuses on getting grounded, being intentional, and taking control of the things they have control over.
The thought process for this approach looks like:
Who do I want to be?
How do I want to show up?
What traits or mindset do I want to step into?
Reflecting on these questions helps us slow down so that we can take control of our mindset, attitude, and approach.
This approach isn’t without emotions and feelings.
But the emotions are more grounded and centered – like being in the flow state or having love, gratitude, and enjoyment.
There is some oscillation in these emotions, but they aren’t as emotionally charged and you will generally stay way more even-keeled.
Here are some ways to develop and stick to an “inside-out” approach.
Set Your Intentions
The first step is to set your intention.
This can be something you do every day for the rest of your life.
Take as little as one minute to reflect on how you want to show up at the start of each day. It is in that moment that you look within — taking the “inside-out” approach — and get clarity on who you choose to be.
This sets you to get grounded and centered before you tackle the day.
Reset Routine
Right in line with setting your intentions is building a reset routine.
This routine is about identifying and rehearsing what areas in life you are susceptible to an “outside-in” approach and resetting to an “inside-out” approach.
You can go check out our full video on how to build a reset routine.
Stay Adaptable
Once you develop your intentions and reset routine, the work isn’t over.
It’s really important that you adopt a growth mindset that focuses on continued learning, adaptations, and constant evolution. As your landscape changes, you need to constantly refine your approach and set your intentions accordingly.
Final thoughts are to make sure to apply this to both your sport and your life. Make the “inside-out” approach the default way you operate in life and it will not only optimize how you show up and tackle the external world but, more importantly, you will find a lot more meaning along the way.
Make sure to watch the full video for more details and diagrams.
Please share this with anyone you think would be interested.
Nicholas Santino is a Senior High-Performance Coach, PhD Candidate, and the official Mental Performance Consultant for Elite Prospects. From his specialized psychology research program, to his PhD studies, Nicholas has gained a tremendous foundation of knowledge and appreciation for the human experience. His passion for psychology has accumulated to a commitment to studying and applying positive psychology and stoicism. This commitment has led Nicholas to conduct many research studies focusing on understanding why and how some people thrive and prosper while others do not. His admiration for evidence-based solutions has propelled Nicholas to produce studies revolving around mindfulness, grit (perseverance and passion), performance, quality participation, social relationships, and well-being.
A Native of Quebec, Sara was part of the St. Lawrence University Women’s Ice Hockey team that competed in the NCAA Division 1 hockey league ECAC. During this time, Sara helped her team appear in four ECAC Hockey Tournaments and two NCAA Frozen Fours, and was a four-time member of the ECAC Hockey All-Academic Squad. Following her career at St. Lawrence University, Sara played one year of professional hockey with Lugano, where she truly honed her skills in understanding the intricate connection between mindset and performance.
Blair has over 13 years of experience as a Professional Dancer, Assistant Dance Captain & Cast Manager, as well as an additional 17 years of training. Over the last 3 decades, she has lived and experienced first hand the highest of highs & lowest of lows that come with pursuing a career in the Performing Arts.
Natasha Habert draws from her training in sport and performance psychology, personal experiences as a competitive athlete, and deep passion for consistent high performance. She is a lifelong athlete and high performer, excelling in volleyball as both a player and coach.
Luciano’s hockey career is highlighted by his time playing college at the University of Victoria and two professional seasons in Europe. Throughout his career, he struggled with performance anxiety, a lack of consistency, fluctuations in confidence, and being caught in the results trap. This eventually led him to deviate from the main reason why anyone should play sports – for the enjoyment of the game. As a former athlete, Luciano has a unique understanding of the psychological pressures and struggles that athletes experience.
Alexis Woloschuk is a name synonymous with mental fortitude in the world of professional hockey. Throughout her career originating playing boys hockey, going to an academy away from home, playing her four years at Boston University and 7+ years in pro hockey she’s learned the importance of resilience, confidence, and dismissing both fear and other’s opinions. With a blend of relatability, confidence, and an acute understanding of playing to one’s potential, Alexis helps athletes reshape the way they perceive and harness the power of their minds.
Sean Mahoney is a member of the Association for Applied Sport Psychology (AASP), and a Master’s candidate in the Sport and Performance Psychology program at the University of Denver. For as long as he can remember, Sean has been fascinated by human performance and how to gain an edge over the competition. For most of his athletic career, he focused on the physical aspect of performance but neglected the mental. Because of this, he struggled with performance anxiety, focus issues, and limiting beliefs pertaining to confidence and self-doubt. His lack of focus on optimizing his mental game prevented him from reaching his full potential.
Savannah Fitzgerald is earning her M.A. in Kinesiology, Sport Psychology Option at California State University, Fresno. Possessing an internal motor that fires her rage for success, Savannah forged this attribute over five years while competing as an NCAA D-I water polo player and swimmer. Combined with her opportunity to represent and compete for the United States, she feels that sport has significantly impacted her professional development. Due to her personal experience playing at all levels, Savannah’s passion for mental performance began when she struggled to overcome pre-competition nerves and post-competition processing. When she discovered a world out there that people were referring to as ‘sport psychology,’ she felt like a piece of her brain was unlocked. Reality shifted as she stumbled into a space consisting of the most beautiful blend of elite performance, mental well-being, and athletics.
Gabe is currently completing his Master’s in Counselling Psychology at the University of Victoria. Although Gabe played several years of high-level baseball, including a stint in the British Columbia Premier Baseball League (BCPBL), he chose hockey as his sport to pursue at the highest level possible. Gabe went on to play four years of junior hockey with the Richmond Sockeyes in the Pacific Junior Hockey League (PJHL) while also coaching minor hockey. Prior to junior hockey, Gabe played 3 years in the Canadian Sport School Hockey League (CSSHL) where he experienced the pressures and expectations of moving on to the next level. During those three years, Gabe constantly compared himself to others and struggled with coping when things did not go his way. Over time, he learned how to focus on his own process and path to the next level, while also developing strategies to improve well-being.
Louie is a mental performance coach from Toronto, Canada with a professional hockey career spanning over 14 years. Being a standout player at the University of Michigan, Louie was a Hobey Baker finalist and a 1st team All-American, which led him to getting drafted by the Ottawa Senators and playing in renowned leagues across the globe, including the DEL, SHL, and AHL.
Mia Landry is a former varsity hockey player at Brock University, where she competed at the USPORT level and was part of the 2021-22 OUA gold medal team. Mia currently represents Canada on the Women’s National Ball Hockey team and is pursuing a Master of Kinesiology Sport Psychology at her alma mater. Her research focuses on areas such as team cohesion, group dynamics, leadership styles, and sports culture.
As a former member of McMaster University’s women’s soccer team, Emilie intimately understands the demands and challenges athletes face on and off the field. Although she encountered many challenges as a high-level athlete, particularly struggling with self-doubt and overthinking, Emilie was able to make a remarkable transformation when she began to embrace the principles of sports psychology.
Max is currently attending William James College, where he is earning a Doctorate Degree in Clinical Psychology and a Masters Degree in Professional Psychology. During his time as an undergraduate student, Max was inducted into the International Honor Society in Psychology (Psi Chi), and played on the Quinnipiac University men’s club ice hockey team.
