I recently led a workshop for a group of athletes. The topic? How the words we use can shape confidence, pressure, and performance.
To open the conversation, I asked them: “What comes to mind when you hear the phrase ‘red flag’?” Their responses are below.
It made me curious… why do we use the same “red flag” language when we talk about our training and performances, even when we know it holds us back both mentally and physically?
When I have these conversations with my athletes, I tell them that Red Flag words sound like:
- I need to
- I have to
- I must
- I should
- I can’t
These words roll off the tongue and on the surface, they seem harmless. But these words carry hidden pressure. Saying “I can’t mess up”, “I have to be perfect” or “I must hit this goal” puts your brain in panic mode. You feel like you have no other option but to succeed, and if you don’t, punishment awaits. Your mind is no longer solving problems or learning, it’s reacting to threats. Stress, fear, and perfectionism sneak in, often unnoticed.
On the other hand, Green Flag words sound like:
- I want to
- My goal is
- I choose to
- I get to
- I’m working on
- I’d like to
- I haven’t yet
Green flag words shift the energy. They turn “I have to win” into “I want to perform well” or “I failed” to “I haven’t achieved this goal yet”.
These words encourage curiosity instead of judgment, and instead of feeling trapped by expectations, you start exploring possibilities.
And that small shift in language can completely change how you approach your training, your goals, and even your growth.
Why Language Matters
The words you use shape not just your mindset, they also shape your performance.
During a game, race, or any high-stakes moment, your mental, physical, and emotional energy is limited. Red flag words pull that energy toward fear, self-judgment, and “what ifs,” making your body tighter and your mind heavier.
Green flag words, on the other hand, keep your focus in the present moment. They influence how you approach challenges, how resilient you feel, and how confident you are in your abilities.
The next time you catch yourself using a red flag word, pause and ask:
Is this feeding pressure or giving me permission? Does this make me fear mistakes or spark curiosity about what’s possible?
Small shifts in language can have a big impact – not just on how you train and perform, but also on how you experience growth.
This blog was written by Coach Elaina.
Blair has over 13 years of experience as a Professional Dancer, Assistant Dance Captain & Cast Manager, as well as an additional 17 years of training. Over the last 3 decades, she has lived and experienced first hand the highest of highs & lowest of lows that come with pursuing a career in the Performing Arts.
Alexis Woloschuk is a name synonymous with mental fortitude in the world of professional hockey. Throughout her career originating playing boys hockey, going to an academy away from home, playing her four years at Boston University and 7+ years in pro hockey she’s learned the importance of resilience, confidence, and dismissing both fear and other’s opinions. With a blend of relatability, confidence, and an acute understanding of playing to one’s potential, Alexis helps athletes reshape the way they perceive and harness the power of their minds.
Sean Mahoney is a member of the Association for Applied Sport Psychology (AASP), and a Master’s candidate in the Sport and Performance Psychology program at the University of Denver. For as long as he can remember, Sean has been fascinated by human performance and how to gain an edge over the competition. For most of his athletic career, he focused on the physical aspect of performance but neglected the mental. Because of this, he struggled with performance anxiety, focus issues, and limiting beliefs pertaining to confidence and self-doubt. His lack of focus on optimizing his mental game prevented him from reaching his full potential.
As a former member of McMaster University’s women’s soccer team, Emilie intimately understands the demands and challenges athletes face on and off the field. Although she encountered many challenges as a high-level athlete, particularly struggling with self-doubt and overthinking, Emilie was able to make a remarkable transformation when she began to embrace the principles of sports psychology.
Danielle Hanus, MA
Monica Russell, MA
