Here is a dangerous idea that I think many athletes and people subconsciously fall into (I know I have in my life multiple times) — that the more successful you are in your sport or work means you are a better person.
We live in a culture that constantly judges, compares, and ranks us.
Who is the best player? Who is going to make it to the next level? Who played well? And who played bad?
There is a place for this – one can get helpful feedback by using healthy comparison.
But there are also a lot of problems that come from the constant judgment and the chase of results.
The problem gets much worse when we take this one step further and start comparing people and life as whole. Our minds can wander into the realm of: who is a better person? Who is more successful? Who is winning at the game of life?
Because of the constant judging and comparison in sport, why not do it in life in general?
Well this is an even more dangerous game to play.
If someone is the best hockey player in the world – does that make them a better person than someone else? Does that mean they are winning at life and others are losing?
When you look at it with a critical lens, the idea of this should be ridiculous, yet have you fallen into this trap?
Have you felt the weight of your performance be so heavy because in the back of your mind a part of you feels that you will be a better person if you succeed in your sport?
If so – don’t worry – I think this is incredibly common and understandable based on how our culture operates.
The good news is that it can be a simple shift to get out of that trap.
The shift starts by drawing a clear line that success and failure in your sport does NOT dictate your worth as a person. In fact, I’d encourage you to embrace the idea of not playing the who is winning at life game at all. Instead, view each person’s journey in life as unique to them — because it is.
There really isn’t a point in judging one person’s journey as better or worse than another person’s journey.
So focus on your race, make the most out of your life, and enjoy your journey.
Blair has over 13 years of experience as a Professional Dancer, Assistant Dance Captain & Cast Manager, as well as an additional 17 years of training. Over the last 3 decades, she has lived and experienced first hand the highest of highs & lowest of lows that come with pursuing a career in the Performing Arts.
Alexis Woloschuk is a name synonymous with mental fortitude in the world of professional hockey. Throughout her career originating playing boys hockey, going to an academy away from home, playing her four years at Boston University and 7+ years in pro hockey she’s learned the importance of resilience, confidence, and dismissing both fear and other’s opinions. With a blend of relatability, confidence, and an acute understanding of playing to one’s potential, Alexis helps athletes reshape the way they perceive and harness the power of their minds.
Sean Mahoney is a member of the Association for Applied Sport Psychology (AASP), and a Master’s candidate in the Sport and Performance Psychology program at the University of Denver. For as long as he can remember, Sean has been fascinated by human performance and how to gain an edge over the competition. For most of his athletic career, he focused on the physical aspect of performance but neglected the mental. Because of this, he struggled with performance anxiety, focus issues, and limiting beliefs pertaining to confidence and self-doubt. His lack of focus on optimizing his mental game prevented him from reaching his full potential.
As a former member of McMaster University’s women’s soccer team, Emilie intimately understands the demands and challenges athletes face on and off the field. Although she encountered many challenges as a high-level athlete, particularly struggling with self-doubt and overthinking, Emilie was able to make a remarkable transformation when she began to embrace the principles of sports psychology.
Danielle Hanus, MA
Monica Russell, MA
