I grew up in the typical hockey family, with two older brothers that were incredibly talented, a forward and a defenseman to learn from. I was also fortunate enough to have a “hockey-dad” who coached me and my friends for years before moving to the U22 league at the age of fifteen. This is when I started to take my training to the next level and I started to believe I could make it to the university level.
The ‘Ah-Ha’ Moment
The summer before playing U22, I attended Brian O’Riellys summer hockey camp, as one of two females, alongside my brother and other OHL / Major Junior prospects.
Intimidated, I tried my hardest to keep up with the boys.
After long hard training days, Coach “Bri”, who was a performance life coach, gave speeches on sport perseverance, mental toughness and being a good athlete and person.
These talks altered my life indefinitely, it gave me insight into what mental performance training is and could do for me as a young athlete moving towards a university career.
From that camp forward, not only did I decide to fully dedicate myself to my sport and make it to the next level, it made me want to pursue a career in sports psychology. I too had a passion for helping people, especially athletes, believe that they could get anywhere they wanted in their lives and achieve their greatest sport goals.
Unfortunate Events Piled Up – Adversity
However, in my last year of high school, I was involved in an accident that took me out of sport for the majority of the season. This accident gave me many mental struggles when trying to get back into playing shape. I then committed to a newly appointed NCAA Division 1 league university team, not fully knowing exactly what the year ahead of me would entail.
Unfortunately, fresh off of months leave from the ice, I found myself on an underdeveloped and unorganized team. My gameplay took a major downhill turn. I went from a confident blue-liner that could see the ice well and move the puck fast, to a nervous, unsure defender, often making unconfident plays. My skating and puck skills also took a hit and I was at the lowest point of my career, on the verge of quitting all together.
The Covid pandemic inevitably sent me home and made my transition to move back to Canada a lot simpler. From there, I then had to commit to a comeback journey.
Fresh Start
Through self-directed training during lockdown, I took the year of 2020 to recover my hockey career. Despite the major adversities, I embraced the physical and mental training necessary to make Brock U. After a tough summer of catchup and a tough tryout process, I made the Brock team as a “walk-on”.
I thought I was back in business! Believing that my career was “saved”, I realized that my game play was still a little behind my peers after being away from the rink for close to a year at that point.
For the next three years, I battled physically and mentally, trying to improve and outperform my teammates to earn a spot on the game day roster. I was a healthy scratch for the majority of my university career at Brock, never a regular but always prepared to go when put into games.
I continuously struggled with my sense of worth as an athlete and in my ability to play consistently and confidently when thrown into the lineup, while also being a positive teammate when in the stands.
The anxiety and insecurity I felt during practices when trying to earn my spot for the weekend’s games was beyond overwhelming. I lacked confidence and a sense of belonging, something I was searching for externally instead of internally.
It was a struggle for me day in and day out, so I leaned on teammates and family for support, but someone that made the world of difference for me was my mental performance coach.
The “Outlet”
I felt relief about myself as a hockey player and my gameplay when working with the sport psychologist for our team. It was through him that I felt heard and able to perform at the level I knew I was capable of. We would chat weekly, discussing tools to play more consistently, and simply let go of the unrealistic expectations I set for myself.
Near the end of my career, I can confidently say I transformed into the player I knew I always was. It left me with the confidence that I did everything in my power to complete this comeback journey I had set out for three years prior.
The Next Journey
As a retired USPORT player, I truly have been on all ends of the spectrum when it comes to team dynamics. Now, it is my goal to help athletes not only achieve optimal performance and reach their goals, but to make them feel heard and seen on their sport journey, just as the Mental Performance Coach I had did for me.
My biggest takeaway is that you’re never alone no matter where you are in your sport and in life, somebody is always there to listen and offer guidance.
I firmly believe working with a Mental Performance Coach leads you to a much more fulfilling, rewarding, and enjoyable sport experience, and it’s my mission to be that person for my clients.