In this post, you will learn how to stop worrying about mistakes and start playing with poise. This is so important because everybody at some point starts to play afraid, they start worrying about making mistakes, they tense up, you might feel that you are overthinking, you’re hesitating out on the ice and you are playing safe. So anytime this is happening to you don’t worry it happens to everybody. It will often happen to you in situations where you are facing a lot of adversity, things aren’t going your way, the coach is yelling at you, you’re feeling a lot of pressure, not getting the playing time you want. These kinds of situations can really spark this fear of mistake mentality.
3 Effective Ways to Start Playing with Poise
These 3 tips will help you be confident out on the ice so that you’re going out making plays and trying things and you are very poised and confident while you play. These 3 tips work! We use them with our athletes all the time, but you have to apply them.
1. Accept & Let Go the Possibility of Mistakes
The first big thing that I want you guys to understand to start playing with poise is that you actually have to accept and let go that you might make some mistakes. Completely counterintuitive, what most people will tell you is to stop thinking about mistakes, don’t worry about it and forget about it. Well, how the heck are you supposed to do that. That’s not a real thing. And by doing that you just thinking of it more. And it makes you tense up even more and get more worried and stay worried. So that’s not a real thing and it doesn’t help. So, what does work? First and most important, the number one thing, is to accept it, accept that you might. It’s not saying that you will make mistakes, it’s accepting that you might. Take, for example, I wish I could tell you going into your next game and you will score, you will get the outcomes you want, you will perform well, and you won’t make mistakes. But I can’t tell you that no one can tell you that. You can’t really tell yourself that because you are human, and we all make mistakes. We can’t guarantee outcomes and results, not necessarily anyways, we could try but often doing that will make you more afraid and it’s not going to allow you to get over that fear of making mistakes. The way I like to phrase this is, it’s a feeling part. So, you’re not actually doing anything. Acceptance is not something you do, its something you feel. Usually, the thing you are worried about the most is turning the puck over, making mistakes, feels unacceptable. So that is why it is so important to be willing to accept it. It’s not an ability problem here. It’s not that some people have the ability to accept mistakes and others don’t – it’s a choice! Are you willing to accept it? One of the reasons to help you to be willing to accept it is to remember that you are human and not perfect. Just like the best players in the world. Take Crosby, for example, had a 20 game plus scoring drought a few years back. Didn’t score for 20 plus games, one of the best players in the world. It can happen to them, it can happen to you, it happens to everyone at times. We make mistakes and don’t get the outcomes we want. We have to accept it and let it go.
2. Breathe & Relax Your Body
Now the second big tip is to then breathe or relax your body because usually what is happening if you are starting to get worried about mistakes your arousal level is going up which means your mind is racing, your body is tensing up and so that is not going to be good for your performance. To help you further let go of that and play with poise we need to relax a bit. Not to fall asleep relax but get to that optimal arousal level where you’re relaxed yet focused. Some of the most common things we use are deep breathing or tensing and relaxing your muscles. You want to find something that works for you, that is going to get you back down to your optimal arousal level where you are relaxed yet still focused. And so, you can still be very intense this is slightly different than intensity and a lot of people could get those mixed up. It’s about being relaxed yet focused and so breathing, tensing and relaxing muscles again, all key helpful things for that but I want to reinforce here at this point. Breath, you can do all the breathing exercises you want but if you haven’t accepted and let go of the possibilities or the things you are worried about or frustrated about. The breathing isn’t necessarily going to work that well.
3. Focus on the Process
The third big thing I want you guys to take away and focus on is being processed focused. After we have accepted and let go and we calm down. You want to be very clear on what the process is for you and focus on doing that. Most athletes again are going to get caught up in worrying about mistakes because they are too outcome-focused. I need to get these points, or I need to score, I need to get the playing time. That’s great you can want all those things, but we don’t want to necessarily be focused on that when you are playing. You want to focus on what you are doing that leads to the outcomes. Protecting the puck, playing with your head up, playing with speed – these are the things that you have control over and that is going to help you get the outcomes. Get clear on those. You want to go play at your optimal arousal level and what you are going to do while you are playing.
Insights on the Reset Routine
You clear your mind by accepting and letting go, then you get clear on what you want to do – now you’ve reset. These tips have given you a bit of an intro about the rest routine we use with all our athletes. It’s about accepting and letting go, calming down and then refocusing on what you want to do. Lots of big tips in there. This is a big problem that a lot of athletes will experience, at different points in their careers.
Hopefully you take away something helpful from these tips and remember to start applying them to your practices and games. I’d love to hear if you found these tips helpful and any success they help you achieve.
If you have any questions reach out, we have different programs that could help you walk through these concepts in more detail.
Nicholas Santino is a Senior High-Performance Coach, PhD Candidate, and the official Mental Performance Consultant for Elite Prospects. From his specialized psychology research program, to his PhD studies, Nicholas has gained a tremendous foundation of knowledge and appreciation for the human experience. His passion for psychology has accumulated to a commitment to studying and applying positive psychology and stoicism. This commitment has led Nicholas to conduct many research studies focusing on understanding why and how some people thrive and prosper while others do not. His admiration for evidence-based solutions has propelled Nicholas to produce studies revolving around mindfulness, grit (perseverance and passion), performance, quality participation, social relationships, and well-being.
A Native of Quebec, Sara was part of the St. Lawrence University Women’s Ice Hockey team that competed in the NCAA Division 1 hockey league ECAC. During this time, Sara helped her team appear in four ECAC Hockey Tournaments and two NCAA Frozen Fours, and was a four-time member of the ECAC Hockey All-Academic Squad. Following her career at St. Lawrence University, Sara played one year of professional hockey with Lugano, where she truly honed her skills in understanding the intricate connection between mindset and performance.
Blair has over 13 years of experience as a Professional Dancer, Assistant Dance Captain & Cast Manager, as well as an additional 17 years of training. Over the last 3 decades, she has lived and experienced first hand the highest of highs & lowest of lows that come with pursuing a career in the Performing Arts.
Natasha Habert draws from her training in sport and performance psychology, personal experiences as a competitive athlete, and deep passion for consistent high performance. She is a lifelong athlete and high performer, excelling in volleyball as both a player and coach.
Luciano’s hockey career is highlighted by his time playing college at the University of Victoria and two professional seasons in Europe. Throughout his career, he struggled with performance anxiety, a lack of consistency, fluctuations in confidence, and being caught in the results trap. This eventually led him to deviate from the main reason why anyone should play sports – for the enjoyment of the game. As a former athlete, Luciano has a unique understanding of the psychological pressures and struggles that athletes experience.
Alexis Woloschuk is a name synonymous with mental fortitude in the world of professional hockey. Throughout her career originating playing boys hockey, going to an academy away from home, playing her four years at Boston University and 7+ years in pro hockey she’s learned the importance of resilience, confidence, and dismissing both fear and other’s opinions. With a blend of relatability, confidence, and an acute understanding of playing to one’s potential, Alexis helps athletes reshape the way they perceive and harness the power of their minds.
Sean Mahoney is a member of the Association for Applied Sport Psychology (AASP), and a Master’s candidate in the Sport and Performance Psychology program at the University of Denver. For as long as he can remember, Sean has been fascinated by human performance and how to gain an edge over the competition. For most of his athletic career, he focused on the physical aspect of performance but neglected the mental. Because of this, he struggled with performance anxiety, focus issues, and limiting beliefs pertaining to confidence and self-doubt. His lack of focus on optimizing his mental game prevented him from reaching his full potential.
Savannah Fitzgerald is earning her M.A. in Kinesiology, Sport Psychology Option at California State University, Fresno. Possessing an internal motor that fires her rage for success, Savannah forged this attribute over five years while competing as an NCAA D-I water polo player and swimmer. Combined with her opportunity to represent and compete for the United States, she feels that sport has significantly impacted her professional development. Due to her personal experience playing at all levels, Savannah’s passion for mental performance began when she struggled to overcome pre-competition nerves and post-competition processing. When she discovered a world out there that people were referring to as ‘sport psychology,’ she felt like a piece of her brain was unlocked. Reality shifted as she stumbled into a space consisting of the most beautiful blend of elite performance, mental well-being, and athletics.
Gabe is currently completing his Master’s in Counselling Psychology at the University of Victoria. Although Gabe played several years of high-level baseball, including a stint in the British Columbia Premier Baseball League (BCPBL), he chose hockey as his sport to pursue at the highest level possible. Gabe went on to play four years of junior hockey with the Richmond Sockeyes in the Pacific Junior Hockey League (PJHL) while also coaching minor hockey. Prior to junior hockey, Gabe played 3 years in the Canadian Sport School Hockey League (CSSHL) where he experienced the pressures and expectations of moving on to the next level. During those three years, Gabe constantly compared himself to others and struggled with coping when things did not go his way. Over time, he learned how to focus on his own process and path to the next level, while also developing strategies to improve well-being.
Louie is a mental performance coach from Toronto, Canada with a professional hockey career spanning over 14 years. Being a standout player at the University of Michigan, Louie was a Hobey Baker finalist and a 1st team All-American, which led him to getting drafted by the Ottawa Senators and playing in renowned leagues across the globe, including the DEL, SHL, and AHL.
Mia Landry is a former varsity hockey player at Brock University, where she competed at the USPORT level and was part of the 2021-22 OUA gold medal team. Mia currently represents Canada on the Women’s National Ball Hockey team and is pursuing a Master of Kinesiology Sport Psychology at her alma mater. Her research focuses on areas such as team cohesion, group dynamics, leadership styles, and sports culture.
As a former member of McMaster University’s women’s soccer team, Emilie intimately understands the demands and challenges athletes face on and off the field. Although she encountered many challenges as a high-level athlete, particularly struggling with self-doubt and overthinking, Emilie was able to make a remarkable transformation when she began to embrace the principles of sports psychology.
Max is currently attending William James College, where he is earning a Doctorate Degree in Clinical Psychology and a Masters Degree in Professional Psychology. During his time as an undergraduate student, Max was inducted into the International Honor Society in Psychology (Psi Chi), and played on the Quinnipiac University men’s club ice hockey team.
