Have you ever felt that you're able to help out your friends and teammates with their mental obstacles, but still struggle with your own? Coach Sara has been preaching about the trust script - and it may be the answer you are looking for. The Solomon Paradox In the book "Chatter", author Ethan Kross describes the Solomon Paradox - the story about a King who was crowned 'the wisest person in the land'. Everyone went to him for advice, no matter the problem. But Solomon never applied this advice in his own life, which led to his eventual downfall. The same applies in sports - we are really good at giving someone else advice, but we sometimes ignore it for ourselves. A trust script helps solve this problem - it involves you recording a piece of audio talking to yourself and engaging in distant self-talk. This strategy mimics the power and success that Solomon had when giving advice to others. See below for an example of a trust script: Ashley, you can trust yourself and relax. Your life proves that accomplishing anything you put your mind to is possible. Remember: you obtained your undergrad, master's, and Ph.D. degrees while you were a single mom of three children. You traveled the world with them. And everything went well. You never lacked. You could face successfully all the bumps on the road. Trust yourself because you are better equipped and have people who support you and care about you. The past is over. Trust yourself. You're thriving now! Trust yourself because you work consistently and diligently towards your goals. Trust yourself, trust your gut feelings, trust that everything happens for your good. Remember: you were stressed about buying your house, but a little voice of peace told you that you would get the house... And you did get it even though another buyer offered 60k$ higher than you. Trust yourself, young and beautiful lady. You know what you have deep down in your heart: love, peace, and joy. With those things, you can accomplish anything, meaning your dreams. Trust yourself, Ashley. The road ahead is beautiful, and I want you to enjoy it. Trust yourself, Ashley. You are wise and always seek what is right and pure. Trust your decisions. Ashley, I am here for you and will always be. Love you. Make sure to watch the full video for the complete breakdown. Please share this with anyone you think would be interested.

What if worry, frustration, or feeling down are not the problem? Instead, they are symptoms based on your approach to sport and even life. In our society, the way we talk about emotions is backward. We label ourselves and others as anxious, sad, or frustrated. That is not who we are—it is what we are feeling, and the distinction matters. When you identify with an emotion, you've got a self-perpetuating problem. More importantly, it's not true. Emotions are a feedback tool, specifically about your approach to sport and life. If this resonates with you check out my breakdown of the 2 approaches to sport and life. Please note that this is not a catch all framework as there are surely exceptions and other factors to consider. But I encourage you to try it out and see if it works for you. The Outside-In Approach Most people easily get caught up in the “outside-in” approach. This approach means we're allowing the outside world to affect how we feel on the inside, often identified by highs and lows in emotional states. Specifically, they'll have charged emotions, such as worry or anxiety, and then go straight to careless and reckless. Or they may go from deflated and frustrated to elated and thinking they’re untouchable. In the “outside-in” approach, we oscillate back and forth because we're focused on the outside world first. The thought process around this approach looks like: What's going on around us? What are the results? What do people think? What's the situation like? And how does that make me feel on the inside? The answers to those questions then dictate how you feel on the side. In other words, your mental state becomes dependent on the external world. This approach is fuelled by needing to achieve external results. Of course, the external goal or intent is to achieve the desired results, but it is a fantasy to think sport or life can be all sunshine and rainbows where everything's positive all the time. This approach does not create reliable results and it generally makes sports and life way more stressful. The good news is we can flip our approach. The Inside-Out Approach I want you to strive towards an “inside-out” approach. This approach is about prioritizing who we want to be on the inside first - then we go and tackle the outside world. Someone with this approach focuses on getting grounded, being intentional, and taking control of the things they have control over. The thought process for this approach looks like: Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What traits or mindset do I want to step into? Reflecting on these questions helps us slow down so that we can take control of our mindset, attitude, and approach. This approach isn’t without emotions and feelings. But the emotions are more grounded and centered - like being in the flow state or having love, gratitude, and enjoyment. There is some oscillation in [...]

Do you feel stuck in your own head, or is your mindset holding you back? It's normal and okay to get stuck. We can't avoid challenges, pressures, and distractions in sports or life. But we can learn how to use these events as growing opportunities. Specifically, this post will show you the 3 phases to transform your mindset. I've been using this concept with many of my one-on-one clients because of the simplicity, clarity, and power it gives them. The 3 Phases First - in phase one, things are great. Then, phase two - things get tough. Adversity, pressure, and expectations build. Phase three is the product of growth from phase two. The key is understanding that phase three is actually better than phase one. 2) The Practical Lessons Lesson 1 - Don't Resist Phase 2 When people are in phase two, they wish they could go back to phase one. This is a huge mistake. It's not about trying to go backward but trying to move forward. Once you get into phase two, you can’t undo it. You can’t pretend like it didn’t happen and go back to phase one. We can't change what's happened. Stop resisting phase 2 - you need to go through it to get to phase 3. When you embrace your journey, you are better able to accept, understand, and move forward into phase 3. Essentially, this is all about breaking free of the weight of results. Letting go of the need to, have to, and shoulds. It’s where you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. You make the switch from an outside-in approach to life — letting the external world dictate your internal mindset — and move to an inside-out approach where you take control of your inner world first, then once grounded and centered you go and tackle the outer world. I also refer to this as being Mindset First — it’s the whole premise of my book. Lesson 2 - Don't Identify with Phase 2 People fall into the common trap of identifying with a phase 2 mindset. They may say something like, “I’m always too hard on myself. This is who I am”. If you choose to identify with phase two, you aren’t going to phase three. There is no solution because your identity is stuck in phase two. To avoid falling into this trap, I like to help clients reflect on their assumed identities. For example, “are you really always too hard on yourself? 100% of the time? And who says that you are?” Then to really hit the point home — “as long as you keep holding on to that belief, there is no moving to phase 3, so the choice is yours if you are going to keep CHOOSING that identity.” Instead, I encourage them to use the language: “In the past, I was often too hard on myself. I have had a tendency to do so…” This change in narrative ensures they stop identifying with [...]

I believe the sport culture is embracing new ways of thinking and operating. Recently Jeff Marek had me on his show to discuss my book - Mindset First and a new way for athletes, coaches, and parents to approach the mental game. Our discussion together starts at 47:38 on the player above. Jeff's support as well as all the people that have outreached and commented on their aligned beliefs is a great example of the sporting culture embracing these new ways. It’s been almost 3 months since the book was release and I’m looking forward to keep spreading the word and getting the book out to more and more people. Thanks again to everyone who has been so supportive!

  Winning versus enjoyment: what matters more? The tension between the two is one that many high performers struggle with. I got this question recently, and the person said, “it's not just about winning - but it's ultimately all about winning.” This conundrum can create a lot of inner conflict without the mental model to resolve it. You can be left oscillating between an unhealthy win-at-all-costs mentality that leaves you frustrated and consumed with the results. Or on the other end, you lose the competitive fire needed to perform at your best. In this recent video, I share the mental models to resolve this age-old conundrum. I’ll briefly walk you through three concepts below (make sure to watch the video for more details and diagrams). 1) Internal Experience vs External Results Comparing enjoyment versus winning is comparing an internal experience (e.g., enjoyment), versus the external result (e.g., winning, stats, etc.). They are not dependent on each other and the goal is to have both. But they're very different and we want to treat them differently. This is why that question of enjoyment versus winning can inherently just be misleading. Nonetheless, the goal here is to help you process and decide what you want to prioritize. 2) Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation The mistake athletes and high performers make, as they climb the ranks, is to confuse their external goals and results as to why they play. You can have both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, but the best athletes in the world stay connected to their intrinsic drivers. 3) Choose Your Priority You have to choose what your priority is. What is the number one thing? Most people make the mistake that their achievements are their priority (e.g., what I want to have, what I want to achieve, the results of the winning). They only focus on who they're going to be in the experience (e.g., play with confidence) in order to get those results. The paradox is this makes their mindset worse and less likely to achieve the results. But when you flip the priorities, when you focus first on who you want to be, how you want to show up - aka Mindset First — that’s when you get clarity, that's when the actions flow and the results, well, they're not guaranteed, but the probability is now going to go up. And the best part is you're more likely to enjoy the whole experience and the journey. Who Do You Choose To Be? There's an important point to clarify here. When you focus on who you're being (your mindset), and the enjoyment in that, you're not sacrificing competitive fire or killer instinct. You're often heightening it because you are intentionally choosing to be in attack mode. By playing with more patience and aggressiveness you will have more poise The Big Trap Most people will focus on their mindset because that's going to lead to better results. But this is the big trap - you are prioritizing the results [...]

Athletes put so much pressure on themselves during games. Then at practice, they relax, play free, and perform at their best. This is backwards! Cue the Diamond Method You need to flip your approach to practices and games. Credit to Coach Sara who came up with this analogy while reading "The Confident Mind" by Nate Zinsser. Here's how it works... 1) Increase Pressure at Practice Diamonds are made from incredible amounts of pressure. Since practices are where you get better, this is where you should put pressure on yourself, raise your standards, and push yourself to grow (aka, make the diamonds at practice). 2) Let Yourself Shine in Games When it’s game time, stop putting all the pressure on yourself - the diamond is already made. Remember, don’t be too hard on yourself. Diamonds have flaws and they are not perfect. Time to polish the diamond, own your capabilities, and let them shine! Why it Works This analogy works great because as an elite athlete you are naturally prone to put too much pressure on yourself in games and not enough in practice. So this approach helps balance the scales and create an optimal mindset. Pressure is self-imposed. It is not inherently good or bad. What matters is the perspective you have and how you use it to your advantage. I hope this analogy gave you a new way to think about pressure in games. Please share this with anyone you think would be interested.

Hockey was my life from as far back as I can remember, but it was a challenging and wild ride. It was like a rollercoaster ride with many achievements and highs, but also full of fears and self-doubt. I genuinely loved hockey and thought I was doing everything possible to develop as a player. My focus was on everything to do with my physical development, but I failed to take control of my mindset. I played with the boys until I was 18 - mainly because it was my only option. When I first started, everyone was always complimenting me on how good I was for a girl, but it was not long before I was told I sucked and should not play with boys. I endured those negative comments for a long time and am so glad I did… I Made It On Strength and Work Ethic That experience taught me that my work ethic and strength were my superpowers, and fortunately, they served me well my entire career. The environment I played in and the coaches I played for demanded that I push myself in order to keep up with the pace and physicality of the game. They pushed, and I responded… I knew I could not let myself fall behind. I would describe myself as the “little engine that could” on all my teams. I worked and always went hard, whether we were up by 5 or down by 5 in games. I showed up consistently at practice, ready to pay attention and go hard until the whistle, and even when my teammates told me to cool it, I never did. I dedicated myself to hitting the gym, got jobs to pay for gym memberships and personal trainers, and grew really strong. Because of the intensity and drive, I turned into a highly effective power forward. My strength and hard work are why I won a Canadian Championship with Team Quebec, gota an NCAA D1 hockey scholarship, was invited to the Canadian U22 tryout camp, and was invited to play professionally in Switzerland. The problem was I didn’t own my successes along the way. Instead, my mindset was full of negativity, self-doubt, and fear. Holding Myself Back I had a knack for attributing any success I experienced to external factors rather than acknowledging my own role in it. It was never because of just me; I never owned it… I attributed my team's success and personal success to other factors: “I got lucky today” “It's my team that is good, not me” “Wow the other team played really bad” I believed, as an elite athlete, you should never be satisfied… I felt like I did not deserve to be where I was ALL THE TIME, which took an emotional toll on me, and the fear paralyzed me when I was on the ice. As they say, I was my own worst enemy, and I never took charge of my [...]

  A lot of people are sharing all the successes and wins from 2023, but don't be fooled. It is great to celebrate and share our wins as it gives us a feeling of personal momentum and it can help inspire others. But let's not forget that any meaningful win came with a bunch of challenges, struggles, and failures. For myself - I published my first book, which meant a lot of poorly written ideas, tedious editing, and what felt like endless rewriting. It didn't stop there. Timelines were pushed and pushed… I spent a full day trying to decide between matte or shiny finish. And it was just plain funny at how painful it was when I kept tripping up while recording the audiobook version - I felt like I could barely read my own book. So having a book out and getting to #1 on amazon certainly feels nice, but don't be fooled. It is paired with countless mistakes and failures. And not to mention, it would not have been possible without the incredible help from my support team. A second interesting win for me was completing the Heroic Public Speaking Course - they are probably the best speaking program in the world. It was an incredible program that helped me grow in countless ways. And as you might imagine, it pushed my comfort zones as I stumbled over my words on stage and dropped a few F-bombs... I knew working on my keynote speech was something I wanted to do and that I would benefit from joining a program and getting coached. But I will admit that I underestimated how much of a craft it is to be an elite speaker. The ability to connect, engage, and create an experience for an audience takes incredible skill and countless hours of practice. So I need to thank Michael and Amy Port and the whole HPS team and my fellow classmates for helping me develop my skill set. I look forward to applying what I've learned in the few gigs I already have lined up. And don't be fooled, I still have a lot of work to do and I will continue to be refining my craft. Lastly, I recently launched my new personal website - CLICK HERE to check it out. This was another comfort zone stretch. This has been like launching a whole new business. It is something I've held off from doing as I've focused on building CEP Mindset. Even though I felt now was the time between the book launching and finishing the speaking course, I still had feelings of self-doubt and worries about what others would think. It was certainly a good test in applying what I teach everyday to others, to myself. I leaned on my Mentor Todd Herman as well as my right hand at CEP coach Nicholas. I had to intentionally make the shift to let go of my insecurities about how it might be received and instead focus on [...]

Should athletes meditate? In short the answer is yes, but when and how can vary from one athlete to the next. There are various ways to meditate, some of which will surprise you - more on this below, but the end goal is to find a mindfulness practice that works for you. It might not be worth pushing a more classic meditation practice on an athlete under 13. But comparatively it should be a no brain to add it as a daily habit for athletes 18 and older. Regardless, it is not something you need to do, but choosing to build a mindfulness practice that works for you will have a massive impact in all areas of your life. This is not something I’m just making up, it is supported by a robust amount of research. The Big 4 The most researched and proven ways to improve performance, physical health, and mental well-being are what Dan Harris calls the big 4: Sleep Nutrition Exercise Meditation I think this is a great frame of reference for understanding the impact of meditation. If you don’t sleep well you will lose your ability to concentrate, regulate your emotions, and a handful of other physical and mental drawbacks. Athletes need to learn to win the sleep game. If you don’t eat well the physical drawbacks are obvious but how and when you eat has also been well documented to impact your mental health and performance. If you don’t exercise well there are also physical and mental health drawbacks, but as an elite athlete you should have this one well covered. Sleep, nutrition and exercise should come as pretty obvious ways to optimize your performance and health. But meditation is also proven to significantly impact your performance, physical health, and mental well-being. Yet it is by far the most under-utilized by society and specifically athletes. What is Meditation? One of the biggest barriers holding people back from developing a consistent meditation practice is they struggle to understand what it is and how it works. This is because you are not really doing anything. Instead you are slowing down, being mindful, and being present. When you exercise, you get stronger. When you go to sleep, you wake up rested. When you eat well, you have fueled your body. But when you meditate it is hard to notice any instant results. Meditation is the practice of being mindful of our thoughts and feelings. In a world where we are constantly doing things, being entertained, and going from one thing to the next, we don’t slow down to be with and regulate our thoughts and feelings. Yet emotional regulation and the ability to mindfully process our thoughts is an incredibly valuable skill. But the only way to improve those skills is to practice them - just like any other skill. Slow Down to Speed Up I love the race car analogy of slowing down to speed up. F1 race cars have to take pit stops in order [...]

One of the greatest benefits of sport is that it can help people become better leaders. Unfortunately, too many athletes are missing the boat. There are multiple reasons at play, but a key one is the lack of leadership being demonstrated by the coaches. This article breaks down the nuances of what it takes to be an effective leader in the new era of sport - whether you are an athlete, a coach or just want to show up as a better leader in any area of life. Self-Leadership Before leading others you must first learn to lead yourself. This is what the mental game is all about - self-leadership. It’s about taking responsibility for your own mindset, attitude, and behaviors. There are two beneficial outcomes from mastering your mindset. First, it directly affects those around you as you will be leading by example. Not just in your effort and focus, but in your composure, resilience, and confidence. How you respond to pressure and adversity can be contagious and positively affect those around you. Second, when you are in a centered state you are primed to effectively lead others through empathy and encouragement. When you are not centered, you will struggle to listen with an open ear and communicate calmly and effectively. Interacting with Others Self-leadership is always step 1, but learning how to effectively interact with others is a set of skills in and of themselves. There are 3 core communication skills that if you master, you will be a great leader. But before we dive in, there is one important thing to address. Why do you want to be a leader? If the answer is for your own self-gain, rewards, or recognition - then the strategies below will not work as well. There is only one good reason to be a leader - it is to serve the team. Doing this will often come back to personally benefit you - but that should not be the primary reason you want to be a better leader. As a leader, serving the team should be your primary motive. From there, the following strategies will help you effectively impact the team. Strategy #1: Praise No matter how common sense this strategy seems, it is shockingly underutilized. The culture of a team is highly dependent on what gets measured and praised. This doesn’t mean you need to become a hype-person or be super positive all the time. Being fake doesn't work, and being positive all the time is not sustainable. Instead, it is about catching others doing things well and acknowledging the little things out loud in front of the whole team. The benefit is not just in the person receiving the praise, but in the ripple effect on everyone around it. Praise is the number one strategy to help your team build momentum. Think of two teams where the start of the game is back and forth - evenly matched. Team A sits there quietly with small amounts of [...]