It’s game day and one of my NHL clients' legs are feeling heavy and sluggish. Naturally some doubt creeps in. Then he starts beating himself up for having the thoughts of doubt. This judgment starts a spiral and makes it much harder for him to clear his mind and get dialed in. He entered the Perfect Mindset Trap - a dead-end for clearing charged emotions or mental noise. When athletes feel frustration, doubt, worry, or a lack of motivation (point A), they want to be able to move through these feelings and let them go—so they can play confident, focused, and free (point B). The path from point A to point B is generally about Acceptance and Commitment - the keys to one of our top strategies: the Reset Routine. The problem is when you try to go from point A to B by taking the path of judgment. You think: “I know I shouldn’t be worried - but I can’t stop thinking about what could go wrong.” “Why am I doubting myself - what's wrong with me?” “I shouldn’t make those types of mistakes.” The more you judge yourself and your emotions the more you drive yourself into a dead-end. Alternatively, we can look at our emotions as a form of feedback. It’s our way of sensing dangers and whether things align with our values. Particularly charged emotions can be reminders for us to gain perspective. So here is what I told the NHL player: “Stop judging yourself, especially judging your emotions. Instead, let’s remember you are human and it would be weird if you didn’t have a feeling of doubt creeping in when your legs feel a little heavy and sluggish. So let's normalize it and give yourself some self-compassion. That’s the only way we can build the bridge to acceptance and commitment—which is how you let go of the doubt and get dialed in (i.e. move from point A to B).” So instead of the path of judgement, he took the path of self-compassion. He stopped ruminating in the judgment of his emotions—the dead-end. And he was able to see his emotions as what they were. He owned them. And moved through them. This is a fundamental lesson in managing emotions. Self-compassion vs judgement. Normalize vs shame. Embrace vs resist. Managing Emotions is a Life Skill Learning to manage emotions isn’t about eliminating negative feelings. It’s about developing the ability to move forward despite them. By normalizing, accepting, and committing, athletes build mental flexibility and resilience—key traits for long-term success. Coaches, parents, and athletes alike can benefit from this mindset shift. By fostering a culture of self-compassion, self-acceptance, and strategic mental skills, we can help athletes stay present, trust themselves, and perform at their best. Want to learn more strategies for mental resilience? Reach out - we’re here to support the journey to peak performance.

Many of my (Coach Brant) clients find themselves thinking about the end result before the game or race is even over. This is a common trap—whether it’s an athlete tightening up while holding a lead or mentally checking out after a single bad stretch. Just because you had one rough period, why let it ruin the next two? A National Team Runner I work with struggled with this problem—their mind kept drifting to the finish line instead of focusing on each step of the race. The solution: "Don't write the game report before it's over." Each segment of a race or game is just a chapter in a larger story. A tough start or mid-race struggle doesn’t dictate the final result. Similar to the mantra above, athletes can reinforce this mindset with other mantras like: "I get to write this chapter." “I have a mind of steel - nothing throws me off.” "I determine the outcome based on what I do now." These affirmations help athletes stay grounded, make better in-the-moment decisions, and remain adaptable. Instead of being trapped by thoughts of the final outcome, they stay engaged in the process—giving themselves the best chance to win or, at the very least, finish strong. The tendency to pre-script the outcome—whether preparing excuses, celebrating prematurely, or anticipating the post-race narrative—pulls athletes out of the present moment, where real performance happens. By resisting the urge to pre-write their post-game narrative and instead staying locked into the present, the athlete I mentioned above started making comebacks, breaking through mental barriers, and transformed their abilities as a runner leading to a national team qualification. The game isn’t over until it’s over—so don’t write the ending before you’ve played your part.

Want a pre-game mantra that can help you relax and get dialed in? Want to channel the nerves and keep your energy high? Want to remember to have fun and be in attack mode? Well this is one of my favourite mantras that I have many of my 1-on-1 clients use as game time approaches. It’s just a game and I f**king love it. Part one is about zooming out and gaining perspective. It can be so easy for athletes who care a lot to get too zoomed in and make the game bigger than what it is. This can give you a lot of energy - but if you don’t channel that energy, it can be costly. So the line “it’s just a game” reminds you to relax and stay loose so you can go out and play freely. Part two engages your passion and attack mode. So many athletes forget why they play the game in the first place (see flowerbed story). They get caught up in the context, feel the weight of expectations, and put all their focus on chasing external results, praise, and accolades. This can cause a lot of tension, noise, and a fear-based mindset. So the line “I f**king love it” reminds you why you play in the first place and adds a little explicit punch to encourage you to jump two feet in. It creates passion with an edge. Together this one two punch can help tee up your mindset so you can start your game off on the right foot. Don’t let the nerves get the best of you. Don’t ease yourself into the game and slowly get yourself going. And, don’t be dependent on external factors to dictate how you feel - just hoping the first 5 minutes go your way. Use the “It’s just a game and I f**king love it” mantra to channel the nerves, take control of your mindset, and attack the game right from your first shift.

Performance anxiety, confidence issues, and the emotional chaos of being a high-performer (athletes and business professionals alike) can all be tied to the chase for external validation and achievements. Do you wake up in the morning and ask yourself: “what do I want to achieve today?” Do you show up at the rinks, field, or your job and wonder: “will I hit my goals today?” Do you constantly self-evaluate and judge your performance primarily on the external outcomes? This is common amongst high-performers. Their ambition combined with our results-oriented and consumeristic society creates a results trap that is easy to fall into. Our society constantly compares and judges everyone and everything based on results. And don’t get me wrong, results do matter — we don’t live in a fantasy world where good intentions are all that matters. Results, when looked at with a critical lens, can be a great form of feedback. It can help us make informed decisions, innovate, and know whether or not our process is working. The mistake that causes so much mental anguish is when the results become the primary focus. When the priority is results over process — problems follow. But if you can flip the switch, then you can free up your mind. Switch the priority from results to process. Switch your approach from outside-in, where the external world dictates how you feel, to inside-out, where you get clarity and certainty in who you want to be and how you want to show up, then go and tackle the outer world. Switch your perspective from the ‘need to’, ‘have to’, and ‘should’ achieve x, y, and z results mentality; to remembering it's just a game and accepting the range of results — freeing you from the burden of expectations. Switch your focus from “this is what I need to do”, to “this is how I want to feel.” This is what it means to flip the switch. This is how you clear the noise and get dialed in. This is generally the first and most important step in overcoming performance anxiety, confidence issues, and overthinking. This is what my book, Mindset First, is all about. The practical and personalized strategies that I use with my 1-on-1 clients and share in my book are the ‘how’ you flip the switch and stay out of the results trap. So the next time you feel performance anxiety, doubt or overthinking — remember it is likely a symptom of your approach. And the solution is to flip the switch (go inside out), clear the noise (accept the range of results), and get dialed in (clarify who you want to be).

I am constantly working with professional athletes on how to stay connected to the love of the game. At this level the bright spotlight from the media and the millions of dollars on the line makes the allure of results so strong. However, the amateur athletes that work with our team of coaches here at CEP Mindset are also fighting to stay connected to the love of the game. How we help them do this is best illustrated with the Flowerbed Story (check out the full video clip here) A group of twelve year old kids started playing touch football in a 105 year old-ladies backyard. The yard was perfectly set up, with a flower bed as the touchdown zone on both sides. The kids absolutely loved playing—especially when they would jump to catch the touchdown zone pass and land in the nice soft flower beds. The old-lady didn’t like this so much. She would yell at them to “stop playing” but the kids just yelled back “screw you lady” and just kept coming back. She thought about calling the cops, but they were only 12 years old. So she got a sneaky idea where she started to pay them $5 each to play. At first, all the boys were really excited. Not only did they get to keep playing the game they loved, but they were getting paid to play. This went on for a few weeks until the old-lady started to pay them less and less. First it went to $2, then $1, then 25 cents, until eventually the kids decided: “Screw this, we aren’t playing here any more — you are not paying us enough.” They had completely forgotten why they were playing in the first place. Although not all athletes are getting paid to play, the shiny objects of praise and results are what distract them as they climb the ranks. You can have the goals and intentions to achieve certain results, but don’t confuse this for why you started playing your sport in the first place. The bottom line is when you learn to enjoy the game for the sake of itself, everything else falls into place. This is so much easier said than done because the allure of results are constantly around you. It’s why it’s a recurring theme with our clients and why we help them create strategies to proactively fight against the allure of results and, instead, stay connected with the love of the game.

So many athletes and people struggle with confidence. But who says you have a confidence problem in the first place? The reality is that most confidence problems can be easily fixed. Here is how: Stop using the word confidence. Definitely don’t tell yourself that you have a confidence problem. This solution often works because identifying as someone who struggles with confidence is like a trap. As long as you ‘believe’ you have a confidence problem, then every time adversity strikes, pressure rises, or doubt creeps in, you find yourself falling back down the rabbit hole. There becomes no sustainable solution. Instead, you have created your own self-fulfilling prophecy that does not work in your favour. This is the difference between how you talk to yourself vs about yourself. And you want to be very careful about the latter. What is Confidence Anyways? The solution also works because of our deep misunderstanding of what confidence actually is. In fact, the word confidence is tainted and is too associated with external results and praise. Therefore, it encourages an outside-in approach that leads to your self-belief being dependent on external results. This is not a sustainable approach. So replace the word confidence with what it actually is: Confidence = Owning Your Capabilities This shift in language from confidence to capabilities makes for a much easier solution. Confidence often feels allusive, but your capabilities are something more tangible that you have earned through hard work. No Excuses So your job is to own your capabilities. The challenge is athletes often have many ‘excuses’ to why they are struggling to own their capabilities: Poor results Criticism from others Lack of praise or recognition And I get it, these can make it tougher to own your capabilities. But also, I don’t care and to me there is no “good” excuse. Your job is to own your capabilities regardless of what’s going on around you. If you struggle with being too hard on yourself and want more insight into owning your capabilities, you can check out the How to Play with Confidence Blog/Video. Final Thoughts Now instead of saying “I have a confidence problem, this is who I am, and here we go again…” you can say “I’m having a problem owning my capabilities.” This is a much easier and more tangible problem to tackle. It helps you break free from all the dogma and limiting narratives around confidence that trap so many athletes. Instead, you can start taking action, owning your capabilities, and building your own momentum. You can check out the full video clip breakdown here.

One of my professional athletes was off to a hot start this season but when the team picked up some new players he got sent down a level. Not because of his play but because he is a rookie in the league. In our call shortly after the demotion — he explains how his motivation is fading and, because he did so well in the league above, he feels “I need to dominate this league.” Luckily for him, he knew this was a mental trap. At the higher level, he had a mindset free of expectations. He appreciated the opportunity and stayed connected to the love of the game. So despite being sent down a level he wants that same mindset. But the problem is the context has changed. So he needs to evolve his mindset based on the new context. The solution — he develops the mantra: “I’m never too good for the game.” This phrase becomes a grounding mantra, reminding him that no matter how skilled he is, he can always learn, grow, and give it his all. It’s a reminder to embrace every aspect of the process—from practice to competition—with full effort and humility. Similarly, a few other professional athletes I work with have adopted the “I’m never too good to be a great teammate” mantra, to avoid the trap of blaming, complaining, and making excuses related to teammates. Trade Expectations for Appreciation The approach this professional athlete adopted aligns with the idea of replacing the weight of expectations with the lightness of appreciation. Popularized by Tony Robbins, this dichotomy is simple yet profound. Athletes often enter events with towering expectations of themselves. While ambition is vital, those expectations can create a mental burden that stifles performance. Instead, focus on appreciating the moment—the opportunity to compete, the joy of the game, and the camaraderie of your teammates. Appreciation allows you to reconnect with the love of the game and the reasons you started playing in the first place. This shift not only grounds you but also places you in a more playful, creative, and focused state—qualities that often lead to your best performances. With this mindset — the professional athlete has continued his successful performance at the new level. A testament to the power of intentionally and proactively creating a mindset and narrative that works for you.

In youth sports, emotions often run high. It’s not uncommon for athletes to express frustration by slamming sticks, bickering with teammates, or struggling to manage their emotions during intense moments. For coaches, this can be a serious challenge, but it also creates an opportunity to guide your team to channel their passion productively while fostering personal growth. Here are some practical strategies for addressing emotional challenges and building a resilient team culture. Acknowledge the Issue & Normalize the Experience The first step is calling it out in a supportive way. Set aside time for a team meeting and openly address the behaviors you’re seeing. Ask your players: “Can we agree that frustration, stick slamming, and bickering have been issues? And can we also agree this is an opportunity to grow?” By framing this as a collective growth moment, you foster buy-in from the team. It’s not about blaming or shaming—it’s about recognizing the challenge and committing to improvement together. Then an important part of this step is to reinforce that emotions are part of being human, and frustration in sports is normal. Coaches should normalize this by sharing their own experiences. Talk about times when you struggled with emotions as an athlete or a coach. Help your team see their passion as a strength—it shows they care and are invested in their performance. However, explain that learning to manage emotions is just as critical as developing technical skills. The Fire and Water Concept: A Key Mindset Framework A powerful way to frame emotional management is through the fire and water analogy: Fire represents commitment, drive, and competitive spirit. Water symbolizes acceptance, perspective, and the ability to let go of frustration. The sweet spot is creating steam, a balance of fire and water that results in a focused, composed, and competitive mindset. Many athletes either burn too hot (all fire, leading to anger and frustration) or too cold (all water, resulting in disengagement). Help your players see that the goal isn’t to decrease their fire but to increase their water—balancing passion with perspective. Practical Strategies for Coaches Rate Emotional Balance Regularly assess where the team stands. After practices or games, ask players to rate how balanced they felt between fire (commitment) and water (acceptance). How well they stayed composed, resilient, & focused. The practice is similar to the Personal Scorecard strategy that we use frequently with our 1-on-1 clients. Encourage open discussions about what went well and where they can improve. Introduce Reset Routines Teach players a quick Reset Routine—5–15 seconds of intentional breathing and grounding. This helps them detach from frustration and refocus. Encourage them to practice this before games and during intense moments to stay centered. Model Emotional Control Coaches set the tone. If you overreact to mistakes or display frustration, your team will mirror that behavior. Instead, model calmness and treat setbacks as learning opportunities. Remember, athletes are human and they won’t be perfect—so when they slip these are great opportunities to work on their mindset. [...]

It’s been one year since launching my first book—Mindset First and it’s been amazing to see the impact! Here is a snapshot: Hundreds of Amazon Reviews Thousands of copies purchased worldwide Numerous international Keynote Speeches to Sport Associations, Organizations, Agencies, & Businesses And not only has it been read by hockey players at all levels including numerous NHL players, it has been read by a variety of athletes and high-performers in all areas of life (see pro soccer player and business professional testimonials below). Hearing the stories of the impact the book has had on people’s mindset has been extremely rewarding. That was and still is the point of the book - to have an impact on the culture of sport and business one person at a time! Thank you to all of you who have supported the book and helped to spread the word. If you haven’t checked out the book yet - what are you waiting for?! :) And if you have, then I’ll remind you that the book is a great stocking stuffer and gift for both friends and loved ones in all walks of life! Here are the links to order on amazon: USA amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1962595951 CAD amazon link: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1962595951 Thanks again for being a part of the CEP Mindset Community and please share this email with anyone you think would be interested in reading Mindset First.