So many athletes and people struggle with confidence. But who says you have a confidence problem in the first place? The reality is that most confidence problems can be easily fixed. Here is how: Stop using the word confidence. Definitely don’t tell yourself that you have a confidence problem. This solution often works because identifying as someone who struggles with confidence is like a trap. As long as you ‘believe’ you have a confidence problem, then every time adversity strikes, pressure rises, or doubt creeps in, you find yourself falling back down the rabbit hole. There becomes no sustainable solution. Instead, you have created your own self-fulfilling prophecy that does not work in your favour. This is the difference between how you talk to yourself vs about yourself. And you want to be very careful about the latter. What is Confidence Anyways? The solution also works because of our deep misunderstanding of what confidence actually is. In fact, the word confidence is tainted and is too associated with external results and praise. Therefore, it encourages an outside-in approach that leads to your self-belief being dependent on external results. This is not a sustainable approach. So replace the word confidence with what it actually is: Confidence = Owning Your Capabilities This shift in language from confidence to capabilities makes for a much easier solution. Confidence often feels allusive, but your capabilities are something more tangible that you have earned through hard work. No Excuses So your job is to own your capabilities. The challenge is athletes often have many ‘excuses’ to why they are struggling to own their capabilities: Poor results Criticism from others Lack of praise or recognition And I get it, these can make it tougher to own your capabilities. But also, I don’t care and to me there is no “good” excuse. Your job is to own your capabilities regardless of what’s going on around you. If you struggle with being too hard on yourself and want more insight into owning your capabilities, you can check out the How to Play with Confidence Blog/Video. Final Thoughts Now instead of saying “I have a confidence problem, this is who I am, and here we go again…” you can say “I’m having a problem owning my capabilities.” This is a much easier and more tangible problem to tackle. It helps you break free from all the dogma and limiting narratives around confidence that trap so many athletes. Instead, you can start taking action, owning your capabilities, and building your own momentum. You can check out the full video clip breakdown here.

One of my professional athletes was off to a hot start this season but when the team picked up some new players he got sent down a level. Not because of his play but because he is a rookie in the league. In our call shortly after the demotion — he explains how his motivation is fading and, because he did so well in the league above, he feels “I need to dominate this league.” Luckily for him, he knew this was a mental trap. At the higher level, he had a mindset free of expectations. He appreciated the opportunity and stayed connected to the love of the game. So despite being sent down a level he wants that same mindset. But the problem is the context has changed. So he needs to evolve his mindset based on the new context. The solution — he develops the mantra: “I’m never too good for the game.” This phrase becomes a grounding mantra, reminding him that no matter how skilled he is, he can always learn, grow, and give it his all. It’s a reminder to embrace every aspect of the process—from practice to competition—with full effort and humility. Similarly, a few other professional athletes I work with have adopted the “I’m never too good to be a great teammate” mantra, to avoid the trap of blaming, complaining, and making excuses related to teammates. Trade Expectations for Appreciation The approach this professional athlete adopted aligns with the idea of replacing the weight of expectations with the lightness of appreciation. Popularized by Tony Robbins, this dichotomy is simple yet profound. Athletes often enter events with towering expectations of themselves. While ambition is vital, those expectations can create a mental burden that stifles performance. Instead, focus on appreciating the moment—the opportunity to compete, the joy of the game, and the camaraderie of your teammates. Appreciation allows you to reconnect with the love of the game and the reasons you started playing in the first place. This shift not only grounds you but also places you in a more playful, creative, and focused state—qualities that often lead to your best performances. With this mindset — the professional athlete has continued his successful performance at the new level. A testament to the power of intentionally and proactively creating a mindset and narrative that works for you.

In youth sports, emotions often run high. It’s not uncommon for athletes to express frustration by slamming sticks, bickering with teammates, or struggling to manage their emotions during intense moments. For coaches, this can be a serious challenge, but it also creates an opportunity to guide your team to channel their passion productively while fostering personal growth. Here are some practical strategies for addressing emotional challenges and building a resilient team culture. Acknowledge the Issue & Normalize the Experience The first step is calling it out in a supportive way. Set aside time for a team meeting and openly address the behaviors you’re seeing. Ask your players: “Can we agree that frustration, stick slamming, and bickering have been issues? And can we also agree this is an opportunity to grow?” By framing this as a collective growth moment, you foster buy-in from the team. It’s not about blaming or shaming—it’s about recognizing the challenge and committing to improvement together. Then an important part of this step is to reinforce that emotions are part of being human, and frustration in sports is normal. Coaches should normalize this by sharing their own experiences. Talk about times when you struggled with emotions as an athlete or a coach. Help your team see their passion as a strength—it shows they care and are invested in their performance. However, explain that learning to manage emotions is just as critical as developing technical skills. The Fire and Water Concept: A Key Mindset Framework A powerful way to frame emotional management is through the fire and water analogy: Fire represents commitment, drive, and competitive spirit. Water symbolizes acceptance, perspective, and the ability to let go of frustration. The sweet spot is creating steam, a balance of fire and water that results in a focused, composed, and competitive mindset. Many athletes either burn too hot (all fire, leading to anger and frustration) or too cold (all water, resulting in disengagement). Help your players see that the goal isn’t to decrease their fire but to increase their water—balancing passion with perspective. Practical Strategies for Coaches Rate Emotional Balance Regularly assess where the team stands. After practices or games, ask players to rate how balanced they felt between fire (commitment) and water (acceptance). How well they stayed composed, resilient, & focused. The practice is similar to the Personal Scorecard strategy that we use frequently with our 1-on-1 clients. Encourage open discussions about what went well and where they can improve. Introduce Reset Routines Teach players a quick Reset Routine—5–15 seconds of intentional breathing and grounding. This helps them detach from frustration and refocus. Encourage them to practice this before games and during intense moments to stay centered. Model Emotional Control Coaches set the tone. If you overreact to mistakes or display frustration, your team will mirror that behavior. Instead, model calmness and treat setbacks as learning opportunities. Remember, athletes are human and they won’t be perfect—so when they slip these are great opportunities to work on their mindset. [...]

It’s been one year since launching my first book—Mindset First and it’s been amazing to see the impact! Here is a snapshot: Hundreds of Amazon Reviews Thousands of copies purchased worldwide Numerous international Keynote Speeches to Sport Associations, Organizations, Agencies, & Businesses And not only has it been read by hockey players at all levels including numerous NHL players, it has been read by a variety of athletes and high-performers in all areas of life (see pro soccer player and business professional testimonials below). Hearing the stories of the impact the book has had on people’s mindset has been extremely rewarding. That was and still is the point of the book - to have an impact on the culture of sport and business one person at a time! Thank you to all of you who have supported the book and helped to spread the word. If you haven’t checked out the book yet - what are you waiting for?! :) And if you have, then I’ll remind you that the book is a great stocking stuffer and gift for both friends and loved ones in all walks of life! Here are the links to order on amazon: USA amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1962595951 CAD amazon link: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1962595951 Thanks again for being a part of the CEP Mindset Community and please share this email with anyone you think would be interested in reading Mindset First.

  As an athlete, you may believe that working on your mindset means you’ll never experience negative thoughts, emotions, or challenges. You might think that working on your mindset is about achieving a state where everything is always perfect and that you are constantly strong and resilient, without any issues. In reality, it isn’t about eliminating negative experiences—it’s about developing the tools to manage them effectively. Challenges, adversity, and negative thoughts are part of the game, but by strengthening your mental tools, you’ll learn to navigate these difficulties without letting them derail your performance. It’s not about avoiding the storm; it’s about building the resilience to thrive in it. Especially with our thoughts. Since emotions are usually triggered by thoughts I (Coach Sara) want to present a few strategies to stop the negative emotion cycle. Let’s begin with the idea that emotions typically last only about 90 seconds. However, our thoughts can reactivate those negative feelings repeatedly, making them seem like they persist much longer. This ongoing cycle can significantly impact your performance. To break this pattern, here are two of my favorite tools for managing your thoughts: Tool #1: Floating Leaf Analogy The floating leaf analogy is a powerful mental exercise for you to manage your thoughts. Imagine your thoughts as leaves floating on a stream. Instead of trying to fight or control each leaf (thought), acknowledge them as they pass by. Key Points: Observation: Notice each thought without judgment; let it drift by like a leaf on water. Detachment: Understand that thoughts do not define you. They are temporary and can be observed from a distance. Focus on the Present: Shift your attention to the current moment, allowing negative or distracting thoughts to float away. By using this analogy, you can cultivate a sense of calm and clarity, enabling you to focus on your performance without being overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts. Tool #2: Adding a BUT at the End of the Negative Thought The "BUT" technique is a simple yet effective tool for you to manage your thoughts and maintain a neutral mindset. Here’s how it works: Key Points: Acknowledge Your Thoughts: Start by recognizing a negative or self-critical thought (e.g., "I’m not performing well"). Add a BUT: Follow it with “but” and introduce a neutral or positive counterpoint (e.g., "I’m not performing well, but I can improve with practice"). Shift Perspective: This technique helps create a balanced view, preventing negative thoughts from taking over and allowing you to remain centered. Stay Focused: By reframing your thoughts, you can stay focused on your goals and the actions needed to achieve them, rather than getting bogged down by self-doubt. At the end of the day, you can’t eliminate your negative thoughts or emotions instead—you just need to learn how to handle them when they arise. It’s about developing the mental strength to keep moving forward, no matter what’s happening inside your head. While you can’t control the first thought that comes into your head, you absolutely can [...]

Do you feel like your confidence is fleeting? where it comes and goes or slips away when you need it most? Well, you are not alone. This experience is universal - which is why so many athletes are trying to figure out how to be more confident every time they step onto the field, ice, or court. But most athletes are working on their confidence the wrong way. The first thing I (Coach Sara) tell my clients about confidence is that it isn’t just a feeling; it’s about trusting your capabilities. Confidence, at its core, is the belief in your ability to execute what you’ve trained for, even when things don’t go perfectly. The greatest challenge any athlete faces, including you, is preventing their confidence from slipping away when they need it most. Their primary goal is to feel more confident every time they step onto the ice, field, or court. But here’s where the conversation often takes an unexpected turn. Instead of chasing a fleeting feeling of confidence, I guide them toward building a deep trust in their skills, in the process they’re following, and in themselves. One of the first steps in this journey is to help athletes define what confidence means to them. When they say they want more confidence, I ask them to articulate what that looks like. Often, they describe it as believing in themselves and trusting their abilities. From there, we work on identifying the daily actions and mindsets that reinforce that trust—so that, regardless of outcomes or mistakes, they remain confident in their ability to overcome challenges. This process can be easier said than done. You need to persistently engage in the actions and mindset that work for you. This process is especially true in the face of adversity. Look at these moments as opportunities to double down on your process. And every time you stick to your actions and mindset despite being faced with adversity, you strengthen your internal fortitude. Repeat this over and over again. When you falter -learn from it, adjust, and move forward. This repetition is how you develop unwavering self-belief. Remember, true confidence isn’t built overnight—it’s built through being A.L.L. in on mistakes which is an acronym for: Accept mistakes Learn from mistakes Let go of mistakes Each challenge you face brings you one step closer to becoming an athlete who fully trusts their abilities, no matter the circumstances Please share this with anyone you think would be interested.

  It’s easy for athletes to get caught up in the grind. Whether you're competing at a local level or striving to be the best, it can be easy to focus on external measures of success. When I (Coach Adam) see athletes focus too much on this, it usually means they’ve lost sight of why they started playing in the first place. This happens over time, especially when athletes transition to higher levels of competition. The drive to succeed becomes about hitting benchmarks - more wins, more points, and more recognition. While these are not inherently bad things, when they become the primary motivators, athletes can experience a disconnect from the true passion that originally drew them to their sport. And when you lose sight of why you play, you start to lose your drive. You burn out. You feel frustrated. You may even start to doubt your love for the sport. When I work with athletes facing this struggle, the first thing I do is help them reconnect with the reasons they started playing in the first place. This is about uncovering the roots of their passion and re-centering their mindset on those core reasons. For some, it’s the sense of community - training together, playing games, or supporting each other through the highs and lows. For others, it might have been the pure joy of the sport itself, or the rush of competition. I’ve also worked with a lot of athletes whose primary motivator is actually the journey along the way - learning, developing, and growing. These reasons may have been buried over time, but they still exist. Once athletes reconnect with their "why," it changes everything. When the focus shifts back to passion instead of results, athletes rediscover their joy for the game. This shift makes the journey feel less like a burden and more like an opportunity to express their true selves. I always tell athletes: passion is a far more reliable motivator than any statistic or accolade. Results will always fluctuate - some games you win, some you lose. But if you’re driven by your true passion for the sport, the wins and losses become secondary. You’ll stay motivated through the tough times, and you'll find joy even in the most challenging moments. When you’re reminded of your "why," the sport stops being something you have to do and becomes something you get to do. Please share this with anyone you think would be interested.

In today’s world, success is often defined by external markers: stats, wins, rankings, and accolades. I (Coach Adam) believe society is creating a false narrative about success - often the conversation is much deeper than these shallow categories. We all know that an athlete can win the game but not play well. Or lose the game but play great. Unfortunately, society’s skewed version of success often defines external results as the ultimate measure of worth. But these markers are not fully within your control and, therefore, create a narrow and frustrating definition of what it means to be successful. For athletes, this can create a narrow and frustrating definition of what it means to be successful, because these markers are out of your control. While there’s nothing wrong with striving for great performance, relying solely on things you can’t control can limit your potential. Not reaching this “gold standard” leaves athletes feeling frustrated, deflated, and as a failure. This is where I introduce my favorite concept: the Personal Scorecard. A personal scorecard is a tool I use to help athletes redefine success on their own terms. We create a process to reflect on the things that are within their control - metrics like effort, attitude, preparation, and how they show up every day to train. These are the things that athletes have direct control over - factors they can influence and consistently improve. The power of the personal scorecard is that it allows athletes to track and celebrate their personal growth, effort, and improvement - regardless of the outcome of the game, or others’ opinion. When athletes start to measure their success through the lens of their personal scorecard, it helps them embrace a healthier relationship with their sport. Please share this with anyone you think would be interested.

Are you an athlete that cares a lot, but wonders if you might care too much? Then this is for you. First, let me put your mind at ease - the solution is NOT to care less. Your burning desire is what drives you to consistently work hard, compete, and push the limits. But this drive can also cause you to obsess about the results, tense up, and stress yourself out. The solution is not to turn down your care level or ambition - it’s a great thing and gives you energy. Instead, the solution is about supporting your high level of ambition with a mindset that keeps your external goals in perspective. You need to learn to detach from the results and park your ambition so you can immerse yourself in the process. This does not mean you lose any of the energy or care. Rather, it is about zooming out so you don’t get stuck zoomed in on the results. The reality is that the results are not fully in your control. And when you obsess, chase, and try to force a result - it will often make things worse. We see this commonly in the language of “I have to, I need to, I should…” The alternative I am suggesting is to still have the goal, but being able to park it. You break free from the weight of results and park your goals by flipping the switch from having an outside-in approach where everything is about chasing the goal, to an inside-out approach where you prioritize who you want to be and how you want to show up. That’s how you get dialed in. It’s about clarifying and committing to who you want to be. The last piece of the puzzle is to enjoy the moment by staying connected to the love of the game. Make sure the reason to flip the switch, break free & park the results, and then get dialed in on the process is because you love the game. Alternatively, if you try to have an inside-out approach so that you get better results, then you haven’t actually parked the results and you will still have the weight of results holding you back. Check out the recent diagram I made to help illustrate this inside-out (Mindset First Approach) versus the outside-in (Results First Approach):   I hope you found this helpful. Reach out with any questions and please share it with anyone you think would benefit. Cassidy